February 6, 2012 - Visitors

Monday was another Monday.  Joe left for work and I tried to survive another day.  I find being a mommy so much harder than i thought it would be.  Part of the trouble is the monotony.  I am exhausted and so I feel like most of what I do is feed brig and sleep.  If I'm lucky I'll get a shower or a chore done here or there.  It's just so much different from my previous life that I feel like I'm never getting anything done!  But I know that being a mom is the greatest calling there is.  And it doesn't always feel that way.  But I love the moments where we just snuggle and he gives me a little smile, or he's awake and looks right at me.  I know those moments are precious and I try to enjoy each one.  He truly is the most amazing blessing in my life.

Kaitlin and her boyfriend Bobby came over for dinner.  It was nice to have company and a bit of a nudge to get showered and make a real meal.  After dinner we had a good visit and watched a little tv.  I tried to feed Brig again around 11:00 and had another meltdown.  He wasn't eating for some reason and he was fussy and I got so frustrated.  I have found breastfeeding to be one of the most frustrating things I have tried to do.  I have been so ready to give up on so many occasions, but we keep at it, and slowly, both Brig and I are getting better at it.  Joe is always there to rescue me when I am ready to implode, so he took Brig again and fed him, again.  How grateful I am for a supportive husband who is so willing to stand by me through thick and thin...and crazy!